Sadness has knocked on my door

My heart is heavy. I feel as though the core of my being has dropped out of my body.  It seems as though I no longer have a pelvis that supports my internal organs.

I am sad and crying.  Something precious has been lost that will never return in my lifetime.  I have no regrets about what I have done to keep this valuable resource in my life.  I gave it my all – my time and resources to help keep that valuable resource alive.  Alas, it was not to be, – that resource is now gone, and I believe it will never return.

Sadness is a normal human emotion that we feel frequently.  As a member of the animal kingdom, we humans are not alone in feeling sadness. Mammals also feel sadness.  For example, a dog or a cat mourns the loss of its owner, and then they move on.  But we humans can internalize sadness in a way that affects every cell in their body – long past the event that caused the sadness.

I feel profoundly sad; that life is no longer worth living with carefree joy and happiness.  I fear that sadness will follow me around like a shroud – coloring every thought and feeling that I have for the rest of my life.  It is as if a shroud or covering keeps me from feeling the warm of the sun and seeing the lights – the sun in the day and the stars at night.  Oh – my aching heart.

Self-Care is vital

It is time for self-care – for taking care of me.  I will grieve in my own way and on my own schedule for something precious that is lost to me in this lifetime.  I accept that sadness will be with me for a while – and that I need not feel bad or tell myself that I am a bad or weak person for giving in to my sadness. If I don’t take care of myself now – and give myself time to recover, I will have no willpower or energy to move forward in my life and do those things that matter.  It is vital that I regain my resilience to do those things that help others find and stay on their own path.

Sadness is real – and my energy is low. I acknowledge this feeling with respect. I permit myself to feel the emptiness and loss – without guilt. It is okay for me to slow down and grieve.

Sadness has knocked on my door and I open it and say come, let us spend time together. I am resigned that we will spend time together, even though I don’t know for how long.

Keep Doing Heart Focused Breathing

Throughout this sadness I will keep doing  heart focused breathing.  It is vital that I perform necessary tasks , especially those that others depend on.